The Anxiety Monster - Part 3
Hello, and welcome!
The last time we talked, I shared the step that will lessen the cortisol amount in your body by half, by doing an activity that takes your mind off of the anxious thought life.
Now, we’ll complete the tool with step 3 today.
Step 3:
Plan your next step for one minute, and take it
What does this mean, in respect of the other steps of the tool?
It means that, after implementing step 1, and finding out what our body needs (dopamine, oxytocin, or serotonin), and disconnecting our thoughts from the immediate fire of anxiety and cortisol from step 2, we now find ourselves in a stance that can assess the situation, create a goal or plan of action, and take a step towards that goal. (Hint, creating that goal and moving towards it will send some dopamine in our bodies, thus boosting our body’s goal of feeling good, right from the start!)
“You can’t relieve all of life’s threats in one minute, of course. But doing nothing in the face of cortisol makes you feel like a trapped animal. Finding a step you can take is the key to relieving anxiety.”
If that step turns out to be too big, you can always break it into two steps.
You don’t have to complete the step in one minute, but you do need to choose it in one minute and take it by the end of the day, or write a time on your calendar when you will do it.
“A minute seems short but you have probably analyzed the dilemma for hours already. More analysis is rarely what you need.”
“A gazelle would get eaten if it analyzed its options for too long. Sometimes it can’t see the options from where it’s standing. It has to start stepping to know the facts. Then it can adjust with corrective steps. Taking steps is nature’s cortisol relief. Your first step will trigger some dopamine, and each step toward rewards brings you more. The dopamine will help you scan for positives instead of just scanning for negatives.”
“A chorus of disapproval may sing in your ear while you’re doing this.. It feels like other people control the chorus, but you control the microphone. You can grab it back and return the focus to your view of your steps toward your needs. Your critics have their own microphone and their own steps to plan.”
“So spend a full minute pondering your best next step, and take it. It doesn’t mater how small the step is because you can follow it with another step, and another. Every step is valuable. Some steps make visible progress, while other steps just bring you to the point where visible progress is possible.”
Dig the well before you need the water.
Let’s recap!
Step 1: Spend one (1) minute seeking what your body needs; which chemical is the lowest
Step 2: Spend 20 minutes doing something that fully absorbs your mind, is easy to pick up and put down, and has no long term harmful effects
Step 3: Spend one (1) minute coming up with a plan that makes you take a step towards one of your goals
Thank you for joining us here today, and comment below on how this tool impacts your days going forward!
Connect with our coaches at Creative Reflections, to have accountability and progress in utilizing this and any other tools in your toolbox today!
All excerpts are from the wonderful book “Tame your Anxiety” by Loretta Breuning.
I found that the material presented in “Relationship G.R.I.T.” was right on the mark on the tools and concepts that we teach about in our relationship coaching sessions.